Productivity & Time Management Training, Speaking, Consulting

Catch up with Part 1 here, and Part 2 here.

Over the last couple of days, I’ve been discussing the idea of giving people access to you, for free, to “pick your brain.”  I discovered that I seem to disagree somewhat with the “common widsom” that professionals perhaps shouldn’t do this, and I’ve so far outlined two reasons I’ve heard, and why I disagree with them.  Following are two more.

3.  People will take advantage of me.  If you know me, you might know that I am a big advocate for control.  It seems to me like people might come to this “don’t let people pick your brain” advice after being “wrung dry” by people who constantly take and never give.  But that can only happen if you let it.  If you are feeling like you’ve been used, then I’d suggest that you are at least half to blame.

If you meet with someone, and you’d like something in return, then you should ask for it.  Here’s an example:  “It’s been great chatting with you, I hope I’ve been helpful, thanks for the coffee.  Can you think of a friend/client/boss/organization who might be able to benefit from my services?  I’d really appreciate a recommendation.”

If they asked for an hour, but you only had 30 minutes, you should have said so. Maybe they emailed you a meeting request that is an hour long.  That’s certainly typical.  But it doesn’t mean you had to accept the hour.  How about, “Thursday at 3 is good, but I’ll only have 30 minutes.  I hope that’s ok.”

And finally, if you truly just didn’t have the time, but you gave it to them anyway, then that’s your fault. Your response should have been something along the lines of, “You know what? Things are crazy for me right now,  but I think I’ll have more time in June.  If you could ping me back then, I’m sure we can get something on the calendar.”  Another option, “Darn, my schedule is really busy for lunch right now, but I’m sure I could make time for 20 minutes or so over the phone.  Would that be helpful?”  Thom gave a great example on his blog of someone who opened his calendar for these types of meetings only at times that were convenient for him: 6:30 or 7am.  I think that is totally fair.  Another option is double-duty appointments:  “I’ll be jogging around the lake at 6pm tomorrow.  I’d be happy to chat with you then if you’d like to join me.”

4.  My business has taken off, and now that I am more successful, I need to be very careful with my time/I can’t make time for everyone. Well, maybe I’m just not successful enough for this problem.  It’s probably true that I can’t get on, say, Oprah Winfrey’s schedule (But then again, I’ve never asked.)  Don’t get me wrong, I’m from Boston, and in the northeast, we tend to approach things with a healthy dose of skepticism, especially about what people want from you.  I’ve also been a victim of the bait and switch:  “Can I pick your brain” turned into “I’m going to try and recruit you to sell my network marketing product.”  And that makes me mad.  But believe me, if I’m mad at you, you’ll know it.  I think smiling to your face while throwing daggers at your back is unethical and inauthentic.

If I had millions and millions of dollars, I’d probably be more jaded about people wanting things from me.  But my aspiration is not to be Oprah Winfrey. (Maybe just interviewed by her, or hired by her!)  Maybe you do want to be the next Oprah, and when you get there, this post probably won’t apply to you.  But I hope that a national platform, success in my business, and lots of people hearing my message does not turn me in to a person who won’t give free advice (within reason) to people who ask for it.  And if it does, I hope you will remind me about this post.

Did I miss any reasons?  I’d love to hear on which side of this issue you come down.  Think I’m being naïve?  I’d like to hear that too.  Any and all feedback is welcome.  I  wanted to share my perspective on this issue, but it’s not right for everyone.  When it comes down to it, I think I just believe in karma.

By the way, thinking about this subject also reminded me that Thom and I had a meeting several years ago that I’m not sure was a “can I pick your brain” request.  But regardless of what it started as, we had a nice conversation and Thom was very generous with his knowledge, as he had already been speaking for a few years when I was just getting started.  And I think I didn’t send a thank you note. I can’t believe I made such a blunder as one of my favorite things to buy and send is pretty, handmade thank you notes, that I often see sitting on people’s desks months after I’ve sent them. So Thom, if I did fail to send you a note, I hope you will extend your statute of limitations for me, and allow me to say, “I’m sincerely sorry.  Thank you.  Is there anything I can do to help you?

Thanks for reading!  And for more beautiful photography by Shawn P. Thomas, visit his Flickr page.

Yesterday I mentioned some great blog posts by my friends Thom Singer and Scott Ingram about professionals giving away their time for free.  I must admit that I completely disagreed with my memory of their posts.  But going back to read them again, I don’t disagree so much.  They don’t really say that professionals should not agree to “can I pick your brain?” requests, and they gave some great tips about how to seek advice from people without being a burden; tips like “be prepared,” “offer to be helpful,” and “say thank you.”  All great advice, and nothing much to quibble over.  But I have to admit, that the fact that they wrote the posts at all makes me think that they may not be very big fans of “can I pick your brain” requests.  Maybe they’ve had the experience of people taking advantage of their generosity.

Below are the first two reasons that I’ve heard in the argument against giving away your time for free. (I’ll address the possibility of being taken advantage of tomorrow).

1.  I will devalue my expertise. I just don’t buy this one.  How does anyone build their credibility without sharing some of what they know for free?  How would anyone know that I have anything valuable to share, if I haven’t shared anything with them?  All of the people I’ve mentioned so far have great websites where they share TONS of their useful and relevant wisdom.  So how is your free blog not devaluing your expertise, but having a conversation with someone is?  And if you are very well versed on your topic of expertise, then 15, 30, even 60 minutes of your time with them will only be a small drop in the bucket compared to what you know.  Also, does your business sell your time, or does it sell your expertise? (Consider this: selling time is not scalable.  You can only grow your business by as many hours as you are willing to work.  Also, selling time leaves you open to price-shopping.  Will it serve your business if people are comparing your hourly rate to your competitor’s?)

Also, are you a life coach?  If not, and someone wants to pick your brain for advice about life or business, then you either need to expand your business model (I’ve seen people do this and I think it’s a mistake), OR it’s an opportunity to be a mentor.  And remember, you’ve only truly learned something when you can clearly explain it to someone else.  This meeting will probably help you as much as it helps them.

2.  People don’t appreciate what they don’t pay for. I’d love to see some evidence of this, because I find exactly the opposite to be true.  Now, I agree that people are more likely to change their behaviors if they have “skin in the game.”  Changing habits is hard, and unless it “pinches” in some way (like your wallet), it’s easy to blow it off.  It’s why free events have notoriously large no-show rates.  But I think casual advice is different.  The only reason why this would be an issue is if your expectation of their meeting with you is that they will take some action.  And I think that’s an unfair expectation.  If you give someone some advice, and they don’t take it, it doesn’t mean that you didn’t help them.  If you expect some action as a result of someone “picking your brain,” then you should tell them that up front.

I have actually found people to be more appreciative if I’ve given them something for free.   If they paid me for advice, then I have simply met their expectations by sharing my expertise, and people aren’t likely to gush over someone who simply “met their expectations.”  Can you go “above and beyond” when a client is paying you?  Of course, and you should.  But the fact is, any assistance you give them when they aren’t paying is appreciated.  In my experience, people I have talked to for free typically become my biggest champions, telling all their friends very nice things about me.  And the vast majority of the time, they eventually either send me  referrals or become clients themselves.  You can’t buy that kind of marketing.

What do you think?  Agree?  Disagree?  Please come back tomorrow for two more reasons, and let me know if I forgot anything!  Thanks for reading!

Also, for more fantastic photography by Shawn P. Thomas, check out his Flickr page.

So, I’ve had this policy unofficially for most of the time I’ve been in business.  I’ve been actively promoting it for a couple of years or more.  I “borrowed” it from my friend Ilene.  I tell people to call me or email me anytime they have a question or an issue they think I can help with, and I’d be happy to discuss it with them.  I think it’s a great approach to business and I’ll tell you more about why.

Today, for what seems like the hundredth time, I heard a very accomplished author and speaker, Scott Ginsberg say a version of “don’t give away your time for free.”  Those were not his exact words, but I believe he said, “you can’t ‘pick my brain,’ but you can rent it.”  Ok, that’s fair.  I enjoyed his presentation quite a bit and he really helped me get over the tendency to make my writing a lot lower on the priority scale than it should be.  He’s obviously very successful and I’m sure I would learn a lot from him if I “rented” his brain.  And don’t get me wrong, he was very generous with his time and his knowledge today, and he struck me as a guy who sincerely wants to help people.  And he got me thinking about my “free advice” policy.

He also reminded me that some other smart people, whom I respect and consider friends, like Thom Singer, Scott Ingram, and Sheila Scarborough,  have written about this topic as well.  From Sheila’s presentation, it seems as though she’s in the same camp as Scott Ginsberg. After giving it some thought, I recognize that there is a difference between free help over email/phone, and free help in person.  And there are also differences in the “let me pick your brain” requests; some are about “give me advice to help me get to where you are;” mentoring kinds of requests.  The other kind are about your specific area of expertise. But I’ve decided that I don’t really have a problem with any of these.

Personally, I love “can I pick your brain?” requests.  I’m happy to give away advice for free, and usually I do it over phone or email, but if you’d like to meet somewhere, I will if my schedule allows.  Over the next few days, I’ll describe the main reasons that I think people are suggesting that you don’t do this, and why those reasons just don’t seem to apply to me.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you’ll come back tomorrow for what I hope will become an interesting discussion! (And feel free to reach out if there is something you think I can help you with!)

Also, if you’re interested in more on this topic, you might be interested to pick up Chris Anderson’s book, Free.